fresh_startApparently, language scholars have long debated the difference between the words – Complete and Finished. If so, Divorce lawyers should have weighed in. The difference is simple. When one marries the perfect mate – he is complete. When one marries the wrong mate – he is finished.   And, if one’s perfect mate catches him with the wrong mate – he is completely finished! All joking aside, divorce is common in our society. Statistics suggest that a divorce takes place every 36 seconds. At Lake Norman Law Firm, we help dozens of to-be-divorcees each year sort out how life will function after divorce. To date, despite the negatives associated with divorce, none have wound up completely finished. Most have embraced the life changing event as a means to a FRESH START.   On average, a person spends two years contemplating divorce before taking action. By the time folks get to us, efforts to save the marriage are usually exhausted. Reality that at least one spouse wants to divorce sets in. Couples struggling with the decision to divorce should absolutely use the New Year as an incentive to start fresh with the marriage. If efforts fail or the decision to separate is mutual, however, we encourage our clients to embrace the opportunity to improve their quality of life and make the most of their fresh start. Here’s how:

First, retain a lawyer. Make sure your life change gets off to a good start. Separating spouses must construct a detailed arrangement that dictates how things will work in the future – things like co-parenting, resolving income disparity, and dividing assets. These are difficult concepts. It’s hard to know what’s fair. You need an expert to put you on the best possible footing to take advantage of your fresh start. Second, treat the process as a business transaction. This is hard stuff. Divorces are emotional. Notwithstanding child custody issues, though, the economic aspects of divorce are a contractual negotiation. You want a fair deal that is more favorable (to you) than your spouse’s fair deal. Don’t let emotion or principle get in the way of reaching an efficient settlement that will catapult your fresh start. Third, look at the big picture and welcome your fresh start (this is really just repeating #2 in a more holistic manner). If you face divorce, errors in judgement were made. There is no use either casting or accepting blame – rather accept that the marriage was a failed venture. Humans make mistakes. While burdensome, divorce is also the tool that grants recovery from a failed venture and provides a fresh start. Having achieved a fair arrangement through your attorney during the separation process, opportunity awaits. Most of our divorce clients are much happier today. Over 50% remarry within five years. We often hear happy fresh start stories. If you find that your marriage is completely finished, and divorce is unavoidable, withstand the natural urge to focus on the past. Instead focus on the future and become a fresh start story!

Adam Breeding is the managing attorney at Lake Norman Law Firm. To learn more about divorce representation or other legal services at Lake Norman Law Firm visit WWW.LKNLAWFIRM.COM, call 704-765-1617, or email the Smart Honest Legal Advisors at